The Three Amigos....

Guilt, Rage, Despair...Rage,Guilt, Despair...Despair, Rage, Guilt.

My three best friends. Closer to me than any lover, they track my every hour, constantly nipping at my heels or yanking at the great big chain that binds me to them. They follow no set sequence, their only requirement is that one should be my constant companion while the other two rest.

When I\m not seething with the poison that is my anger, I'm wracked with guilt. When I am not constantly aware of how I am failing at every aspect of my life, I am sad. So sad, so much sadness, I can't understand how my heart doesn't just collapse from the weight of it.

This is despair. This is how it hurts so much that sometimes I can't breathe for the vice around my chest. This is rage. This is the slow burn and the liquid fast speed of my anger at everything and anything. This is guilt. This is my self-loathing, my inadequacies, my failures.

This is my life. This is normal.

How to stay happy and calm under all circumstances

"What's this you're writing?" asked Pooh, climbing onto the writing table.

"The Tao of Pooh," I replied.

"The how of Pooh?' asked Pooh, smudging one of the words I had just written.

"The Tao of Pooh," I replied, poking his paw away with my pencil.

"It seems more like the ow! of Pooh," said Pooh, rubbing his paw.

"Well, it's not," I replied huffily.

"What's it about?" asked Pooh, leaning forward and smearing another word.

"It's about how to stay happy and calm under all circumstances!" I yelled.

......

"Have you read it?" asked Pooh.

Benjamin Hoff (1982) The Tao of Pooh